December 23, 2014

Merry Pre-Christmas, everyone! Not exactly fiction…. but in the spirit of the holidays, here goes:

‘Twas the night before Christmas

And all through the home

Not a creature was stirring

Except my damn phone.

“Hey, Babe, you up?”

The text message jingles.

As if it weren’t enough

At Christmas, to be single.

“I can come over,” he texts.

“I’ll bring by some beer….”

The cell phone keeps blinking

And I’m not filled with cheer.

“Just go away,” I reply.

“I’d rather be by myself.”

I feel like the last toy

All alone on the shelf.

“Hey baby,” he texts. “I’ll jingle your bell.”

I’m tempted to tell him to just go to hell.

“Oh, come on, babe,” he says.

“I’ll drive by your place in a bit.”

My present for Christmas:

An asshole who won’t commit.

“I won’t jingle your bell,

I won’t trim your tree.

I’d rather be lonely

Than be your Plan C.

I’d rather spend Christmas

Alone, by myself.

Than spend it pretending

To be your happy elf.

May all of your days

Be merry and bright

And to you, you big jerk,

And to all, a good night.

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